Labor of Love-Part 2

This is a continuation of the family album I am doing for my husband from the pictures we took from his mother's house.

It took a bit of time, but I was finally able to rescue all the photos from the albums they were in.  If you have some old family photos that are mounted in those old sticky/magnetic albums, now is a good time to liberate them.  You don't have to intend to scrapbook them as I am, but if you want them to last longer, get them out as soon as possible. Unfortunately, I damaged a few photos getting them out of the albums. Couldn't be avoided. Even white school glue doesn't hold as viciously a the glue in those albums.

I had no idea how many photos I was really dealing with until I got them all out. I may be in for a bigger challenge than I originally thought. 

The hubby and I hit the local Michaels craft store for supplies and he chose this large black album with an embossed, leather-like cover. Very pretty just enough masculine for him. He is a lover of all things black, so the color scheme will be black, white and cream.

It's a large album with 12 x 12 black pages, but since those refills are a little more difficult to find (none in stock in Michael's that day), I purchased two 8 1/2 x 11 white refill pages. I think the alternating size of the pages will accomodate the varying sizes of the pictures perfectly. I want to avoid cutting as much as possible.

Now that all my supplies are gathered, its time to start working on the layout.

A Labor of Love

I started a new project and I’m so thrilled and nervous about it. After getting married in November, my husband and I took a trip over to his mother’s house in North Carolina.  She was not there.  Unfortunately, due to health issues, she may never return to her home. One of things she asked us to do was take whatever family photos from the home that we wanted.

At first, my husband only wanted a few of his mom and siblings, but after spending more than an hour going through the albums and framed photos, he decided to take a few more.

My task over the next few weeks/months/hopefully not a year will be to get them all into a new scrapbook type album. Because there are a lot of pictures of people and events that my husband may not remember, I am not going for a standard scrapbook with journaling. I more want to end up with a family album that leaves space for someone to add names and details to later. Hopefully his mother and siblings will get to see it and help us get it all labeled out.

This is just the beginning!

It Comes and Goes

Making the decision to go to Blissdom 2013 was an easy one although I was concerned with the cost of making such a last minute decision. Now, unfortunately, life has intervened and I have to cancel the trip just as quickly as I booked it.

Just a few months ago we were celebrating our wedding with our family and friends.  Now, we are planning for the death of our best man. It feels so disrespectful to say that, but the outlook is not positive.

Until the time comes, we will continue to remember him dancing.

Care Packages

My husband is the only person in the world I know that would call his family and ask for a care package of potato chips. Yep, they mailed him two huge boxes of Utz potato chips which we cannot find in Kansas.

He is enjoying 24 bags of plain and sour cream and onion chips. 12 bags each! I still can't believe they indulged him like this, but we need what we need and this man needed his Utz!

Merry Christmas

…from my new family to yours.

What Do I Say? (Guest Post & Giveaway!)

I’m happy today to be hosting Sarah MacLauglin on my blog. When I read the description of her book, I was immediately interested in what she had to say. I am not a parent, but as an aunt and a regular fixture in the homes of friends with children, sometimes they say things that you just don’t know how to respond to. I asked Sarah for tools for talking with these kids that are not our own and she provided the following guest post. Sarah is also giving away a copy of her book to a commenter and from her site, a Kindle Touch! Comment below and show Sarah some love. I will also be reading her book and reviewing it in an upcoming Reading Challenge post, so you will definitely hear more about this title soon.




What do I Say?
Navigating Difficult Subject Matter with Other People’s Kids
By Sarah MacLaughlin, Award-winning Author of What Not To Say: Tools for Talking with Young Children

When I was a nanny, I ran into all kinds of subjects that I didn’t know exactly how to navigate. But navigating is a good metaphor. When you navigate, you are aware of your surroundings. You take your time. You check the map. You pay attention to where you already are. You listen. Take these concepts with you as a compass.

When you are discussing a hot topic with a young child, you want to keep their developmental age in mind. When you are talking to a child that is not your own, you want to pay attention to that, and the fact that the child does not belong to you. (Do our own children even really belong to us? That language could use some freshening up, but I’ll save it for a different post!)

There are the big three: sex, death and God. I’m sure there are others; divorce and war come to mind as not the easiest. But these are probably the most hair raising topics. I’ve bumped into all of the above in my work with other people’s children. Here are a few suggestions as you take your compass and embark on these conversations:


1. Acknowledge your own discomfort. This is such an important step. Even if you don’t say anything aloud, just take a few seconds to see, internally, that you are uncomfortable. This is completely okay. Your nephew asks why his parents are getting a divorce. A child in your classroom asks what happens after we die. Your niece is curious about gay marriage. Our culture has taboo and controversial topics. We help demystify them when we feel this discomfort and move through it—forging on with the dialogue. Pay attention to your body language. If you are extremely uneasy about the issue, you can say that aloud in a way that conveys ownership, then go from there.


2. Listen and ask questions instead of giving answers. If you close your mouth and open your ears, you are on the right track. You probably don’t have the answers anyway, which is perfectly fine. You can ask open-ended questions like, “Tell me more about that,” or “How do feel when you think about that.” You can also validate a child’s feelings if they name them, “You’re feeling nervous and upset. It’s okay to feel that way.


3. Use language that is not directive or definitive. When I was interacting with other’s kids, I found myself using broad language. My values and belief system were possibly not the same as the families. Useful phrases like, “People have lots of different opinions about that,” or “I’m not sure about that,” came out of my mouth often (and by the way, still do with my “own” child.) You can also suggest that a child ask their parents about it (whatever “it” is.) You could say, “I’m sure Mom would be interested in speaking with you about this too,” which is so much more open-ended than, “You better talk to your mother about that!”A last couple of statement that are good for a myriad of situations: “That is really such a mystery,” and my all-time favorite, “Some people believe…”


4. Check in with the child’s grown-up. This does not have to be a big discussion, but if you have a discussion with a child about any of these big subjects, I think it is common courtesy to let the parent know the overview of what came up, and how you handled it.
Tips and strategies for places where we feel out of our depth are valuable. You might not always know where you are headed, but it sure does help if you have that compass and map!

I’d love to hear what you think!

Special Giveaway!
Please comment on this post about what you say to other people’s children, so that you can enter to win an ebook copy of What Not to Say: Tools for Talking with Young Children, in the format of your choice: PDF, epub, or Kindle format. Sarah will be giving away one copy at each blog stop and will announce it on the comments of this post tomorrow. (Other stops during this Blog Tour are listed on Sarah’s blog here: http://sarahsbalancingact.blogspot.com/p/blog-tour.html) Be sure to leave your email so we can contact you in case you’re the winner!

Also, be sure to enter at Sarah’s site (http://sarahsbalancingact.blogspot.com/p/blog-tour.html) for the Grand Prize Giveaway: a Kindle Touch. Winner will be announced at the end of the tour after July 15th.


About The Author
Sarah MacLaughlin has worked with children and families for over twenty years. With a background in early childhood education, she has previously been both a preschool teacher and nanny. Currently, Sarah works as a licensed social worker with foster families at The Opportunity Alliance in South Portland, Maine.

She also teaches parenting classes and consults with families. In addition, Sarah serves on the board of Birth Roots, a perinatal resource center, and writes the “Parenting Toolbox” column for a local parenting newspaper, Parent & Family.

As reflected in her book, What Not to Say: Tools for Talking with Young Children, Sarah considers it her life’s work to promote happy, well-adjusted people by increasing awareness of how children are spoken to today.



In a busy modern life, while Sarah juggles her son, her job, her husband, her family, and time for herself, she’s also aiming for: mindful parenting, meaningful work, joyful marriage, connected family, and radical self-care. She is mom to a young son who gives her plenty of opportunities to take her own advice about What Not to Say. More information about Sarah and her work can be found at her site: http://www.saramaclaughlin.com.

Wanda's Wedding

I didn’t get to take many pictures at my sister's wedding, but I wanted to share the few that I did get. I’m hoping my sister remembers to send me the wedding photo CD when she gets it so I can upload all the picture for our friends and family and you, of course. Enjoy.

Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Jones.

Yelm and the Mountain

There is a very good chance that at the end of this job search, I will be packing up and moving. I’m not sure where but I’m almost definite it won’t be where I am now. Whenever I talk to a new company about a new city, I immediately turn to Google Earth. I am having so much fun thinking about the possibilities. There are so many beautiful places in this country and I’m ready to see another one.

I was on the phone with my brother last week and unknowingly, he fed right into my latest obsession. He said, “Man, every day I get up, I swear that dog-gone mountain is getting closer!”

Mountain, what mountain? I had no clue. He has just relocated to Yelm, Washington which I didn’t know existed until he was heading to an army base there. I consulted Google Earth and there it is, about an hour away. Mount Rainier in all its snow capped glory.



What a beautiful sight. I was excited to plan to visit him because of his proximity to Seattle and Portland, but now I have a new target when I go. I’m going to that mountain. Actually, I’m just going to the state park to get closer to the mountain. I’ll leave the mountain itself to the more adventurous people out there.

Oh the places we can go!

Choosing The Wedding Party-The Brides Perspective

My fiancé came into my life at a time when I was not ready. You can counter this and say that we are never really ready for the little surprises that life will bring our way, but I was really not ready. He and I often talk back on the first few weeks of our lives together. We laugh about it now, but he was angry with me then.

He came at me too fast and I had a wall around me that I was not ready to let anyone get beyond. I went out with him and then I avoided him. I lost my cell phone during a road trip and took that as an out because I didn’t have his number anywhere else other than that phone. But then I saw him and I was drawn to him. I had to beg the boy to give me his number again. He assumed I thought I was better than him and tossed his number aside as I had tossed him. He was hurt and he was angry. I was scared and I wasn’t ready to be in another relationship.

Even when I started to give in and decided to give us a chance, I waffled. We went on a few more dates and then we moved in together. I still waffled. He proposed. I still waffled after asking for time. A month later, I said yes and I still waffled. I went back and forth, back and forth trying to decide if I wanted to be in such a committed relationship and if I wanted to be married. I doubted. I doubted my ability to be a good wife. I doubted his ability to be a good husband. I doubted our ability to communicate with each other. I doubted everything.

Getting married is a beautiful and lovely thing, but I couldn’t dive into the wedding until I was sure the marriage was going to start on a healthy foundation. We started marriage counseling with our pastor and I started having serious conversations with friends that were married, friends that wanted to get married and a few people that I knew had gone through a divorce. I questioned everything and I listened and I still continue to do so.

When I finally broke free of enough doubt and was content and happy with becoming this man’s wife, I could finally start to think about the wedding that would start our married life. My wedding day is not a production or a party. It’s an induction. And in order to be properly inducted into this life, I needed people with me that knew what I was getting into. For that reason, I chose a Matron of Honor and Bridesmaids that were married. These are women that have marriages that I look to for inspiration and guidance. They have had successes. They have had failures. They have had issues that threatened to tear them apart, but they are still standing. They are happy and they have no regrets about walking down the aisle. Will they always feel that way? Who knows. But today, they are my support system and they are who I need.

None of them are family and none of them have known me longer than 12 years and I have no regrets about that. Everyone likes to fantasize that their wedding party will be made up of their sisters and childhood friends. Often that is the case. But if you really want to see this as the start of a marriage and not just a wedding, you have to ask if sisters and childhood friends are really what you need. In my case, it is not.

I get questioned about this choice a lot. So many want to know if my sisters are upset with me. My answer is always and will always be the same. I am doing what I need to do to give my marriage the best start it can have. There are no doubts about that.

Lorax and Trufella

A few weeks ago, my nephew came to town. I wish I could say he came to visit me, but I was just an unneeded bonus. He actually came to visit the children of friends of mine. It’s amazing how little ones bond with each other. If you want to see what childhood depression looks like, separate a four year old from a friend that he knows he won’t see for a few months, if not longer. It was heartbreaking to tell him it was time to go after visiting with them and playing hours of dress up (spiderman is my nephew). I got over it later when I found out he didn’t want me to go to the movies with him and his friends. I was the one that set up this little long distance play date, but that was lost on the young one.



The main event of their multi-day play date was catching a marathon showing of Dr. Suess’ The Lorax. I read the book to my nephew the night before to try to get him interested. He barely made it through it but after seeing the movie, I hear the book is keeping his attention a little better.



He likes it so much now that my sister called to inform me that my nephew has requested a yellow sweater knit from trufella trees.

Thanks, Dr. Suess!

There is So Much To Say

This past weekend, I drank a little too much wine which always causes me to get a little too sappy. My perpetual state of sappiness led me to sit down and write 15 cards (yes, 15!) to be sent to my fiancé. He will be visiting me in about 2 1/2 weeks and I want to build some excitement for this trip. So, I have 15 very loving and/or steamy messages that will be heading his way. They are sealed, addressed and stamped and I will be dropping one or two of them in the mail each day over the next two weeks.



And one of you will get some cards of your own to send. As I stated in this post, Hallmark has been gracious enough to extend their Vow to Tell Them campaign through me and on to one of you.

Six of you posted comments against one or both of my Hallmark related posts. I numbered you all on a sheet of paper and used Random.org to generate a random number.



And the lucky recipient is Victoria! You can learn more about Victoria here. She is a local (to Chattanooga) author and blogger.

Thank you all for commenting on my posts. And please send a little sunshine someone’s way by putting a card in the mail. And it goes without saying that you will be helping out our struggling postal system.

Vow To Tell Them...

I am still working on a good recap post for Blissdom 2012, after which I was planning to get into talk about the sponsors that were there. But there is one thing I did at the conference that keeps coming back to me and I just have to write about it now.

During the conference, Hallmark literally set up shop in one of the rooms. They had plenty of cards on display and their one dictate to us was to pick as many cards as we wanted and address them to either conference attendees (by twitter handle) or to physical addresses and they would mail for us.



I went through my mental list of family and friends that really have been such a support to me lately and I wrote out my heart to each of them. When I wrote out the card to my fiancé, I had to hold back the tears. I made it out of Hallmark’s mini store, but I couldn’t hold back the tears when sitting in the Centrum lunch listening to Chris Mann sing.

It really is important to tell people what they need to hear but also to tell them what you need them to know.
I needed to tell a friend oversees that she is such a constant inspiration to me. I am watching her grow and I am truly inspired.
I needed to tell my mother that I miss her dearly and I cannot wait to see her in a few weeks.
I needed to tell my grandmother that I am so proud of how she has used her craft over the last year to bring comfort to storm victims.
I needed to tell a family that they are so uplifting to me and I enjoy the time I get to spend with them, especially the family dinners.
And I needed to tell my fiancé that I am growing and getting more excited at my future role as his wife. I needed to tell him how much I miss his smile, his face and his hugs.

OH MY! I’m crying again!

I was happy to be able to bless these friends and family with the cards, but now I am the one reaping the blessings. Every time someone calls me and tells me they received the card and they appreciated me sending it, my heart is lifted and I am grateful that Hallmark gave me this opportunity to reach out.

I encourage you to send cards to those that are touching your heart. I have vowed to tell you how much this opportunity meant and now I hope you vow to continue the effort.



*edited to clarify that Hallmark was a sponsor, not a vendor. Sorry for the confusion.

A Little Sadness Has Fallen

It’s my last night in front of the fire for a little while. I’m sad to be back on the road for work. I’m sad to be leaving my mom and grandma. I’m sad to be leaving my friends. But I will be back soon.

I’m happy to say my grandma loves the fiancé so I guess I have no choice now but to keep him.

Now that my favorite holiday has passed, I will be working on planning the wedding, planning my career and planning for great things to happen in my life. I almost feel like its time to make new years resolutions. Thanksgiving always feels like a natural end of the year for me anyway. While everyone else is shopping away and anticipating Christmas, I will be making resolutions and goals and stepping into so many new things.

What does Thanksgiving mean for you? Are you getting wrapped up in the shopping and craziness of Christmas?

Getting Ready

I have completely lazy today. My grandma and I have been talking for hours in front of the fire. I’m enjoying the time with my mom and my grandma.

But now we must put the laziness aside and start prepping for tomorrow’s meal. yay!

A Fresh Start

I wanted to start the month off right by finishing a project that’s been on my to-do list for way too long. Now granted, I have plenty of unfinished projects, but this one was for my grandmother.

Back in July, she requested that I make her a shrug. Of course I said yes. This is the woman that supplies me with really beautiful homemade quilts. I couldn’t say no to her. Plus, I really do like sharing something that I made with her since she has been making things for me since I could remember.

We searched around on Ravelry and came up with this pattern for the Sequoia Shrug (Ravelry link). She picked a very pretty yarn from my stash and I started on it right away. What I didn’t realize at the time was that to get the ribbed pattern that was shown, you would be crocheting this entire thing through the back loop. That slowed me down quite a bit. Crocheting through the back loop is easy but not as quick as just a regular crochet stitch.

Every few weeks, I would see this project in the apartment and pick it up out of guilt to add a few more stitches. Finally, in the process of preparing for Nanowrimo and Nablopomo, I decided to bite the bullet and get it done. I’m happy to have my first post of Nablopomo be a celebration of finishing. Maybe I will even write a crocheter into my Nano novel. ummm. I really haven’t planned that through so that will be another post for later. For now, I am happy to be packing this up to ship to grandma. This is a great project for new and seasoned crocheters alike and the finishing is minimum so that is great. You are pretty much just crocheting a big rectangle and then stitching to get the shape.

Sorry I don’t have any model shots for you. I’ve never really liked the look of shrugs on my body type.

2011 Project #1

My crafting is getting off to a great start. I have completed two triangle shawl/scarves. This one is for me. The bright one is for my older sister. I am going to start on one for my younger sister later today. I wear min as a triangle scarf, but they are also perfect for wearing as shawls.





These are quick projects that really only take 2-3 days to complete. Not only am I on a crochet kick but I’m also on a never ending quest to cut down my stash. I did a pretty good job of it this past year but a trip to the Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival and a visit to Webs in Northampton, Mass derailed me a bit.

But this year, I am tackling it with a greater desire for organized storage space. I am starting the year off with a total of 75 yarns in my stash as listed in Ravelry. All of my yarns are listed there with the exception of the cotton I purchased during the holidays. Some of the 75 yarns are single skeins. Some are 10 skeins or more. The stash number only decreases when all skeins of a particular yarn have been used or given away or in some other way out of my hands. I still have more of the JoJo Land yarn used to make my scarf, but the yarn used to make my sister’s was just one skein of Noro sock yarn. So, I’m down to 74. We’ll see how things go in the new year.

How are you all doing on your stash?

Nothing Changes In a Week

One of the new things going on with me has to do with my hair. I have decided to go natural. This means that I have decided not to chemically relax my hair anymore. For now I am still coloring it, but that may soon change as well. The chemicals have become very harsh to my skin which seems to be getting more sensitive as I age. That means my hair is not looking it’s best these days. Honestly, it was not looking good before I started transitioning and I am doing all I can to repair the damage while nurturing the new hair that is growing. I got a little bit cut off before Thanksgiving and this did not please the fiance at all. He loves long hair and has been trying to get me to grow it out. Deciding to go natural requires a reset on length so I am getting shorter until all the relaxer is cut out and then my natural hair can grow.

Well, he has been complaining about how short and dry my hair is and how much it sheds. He’s now gotten his mother into and I felt completely attacked this weekend as they both decided to give me an intervention on my hair. This is not a fun experience. I am incredibly hurt. Hair is personal and when your hair is not where you want it for whatever reason, you tend to feel a little vulnerable. Hair on the floor is a particular pet peeve for him and his mother so I was afraid to comb my hair at her house for fear that I would leave an errant hair behind.

He knows I’m hurt so today he attempted to tell me how nice I fixed my hair today. I made sure I pointed out to him that he didn’t like it last week when I fixed it the exact same way. Nothing changes in a week when it comes to someone’s attitude and I doubt my hurt will go away in this next week.

We’ll see. I’m happy to be seeing videos posted on YouTube from many, many black women who have taken the same steps towards hair and skin health. In the future I will share some videos and tips that I find.

More than anything, I think all of us should remember that there are times when Love can hurt just as much as Hate.

Happy Holidays everyone. I pray you all have strong support systems among your loved ones for whatever changes you decide to institute in life.

Merry Christmas To YOU!

Merry Christmas To YOU!
Originally uploaded by aldorris105

It has become a tradition for me and my grandmother to put up and decorate the Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving when the rest of the family is out shopping. I love having little traditions to keep with my family members. My mother, grandmother and I also spent some time sewing together the night before thanksgiving. They made aprons from the Lotta Jansdotter Simple Sewing book. I had to buy them a copy to share before they headed back home to Mississippi. I'm so thrilled that they have been sewing together quite regularly and my mother had her sewing machine repaired after many, many years of collecting dust. I encourage you all to find a connection with your family to share. These are the times I will never forget.

Welcome to the World Class of 2009

Congratulations to all of the new high school graduates that have joined the ranks of us adults. I am so thrilled for all of you, but I am also fearful. You are not exactly coming out at a great time, but I’m hoping that you will make the best of it. Among them is my niece, Brittany, who is looking for her first job this summer before heading to college in the fall. I am a very proud aunt and look forward to seeing the adult that she grows into, for it really is a growing process.

Happy Mother's Day

I’m a day late but I hope all you mothers had a great day yesterday. I put together a fiber care package for my mother. She lives in a small city in Mississippi and is stuck with whatever the local Wal-Mart decides to sell. I don’t know if they sell felt-able yarns so I decided that’s what I should get her. I went to my local Michael’s and picked up at least one of each color of Paton’s Classic Wool. There were two colors (white and green) that were on clearance so I picked up three of each of those. I pretty much cleaned them out on this brand of yarn. They have signs posted that say they have a new yarn section coming this spring, but those signs have been up for a while and spring is almost over. I hope they restock soon--not that I need any more yarn.

My mother’s package also includes felted purse patterns from Pipp’s purses. I can’t wait to see what she does with them. I purposely put together one ball of each color to encourage her to stripe her bags. I threw in a couple of needles and a set of notions.

​

I was on the phone with her as she opened the box and she was absolutely thrilled. Maybe she’ll have cast on a bag by the time I go to Mississippi next week.

Enjoy all the gifts that you have received, especially the gift of family.