I Shut Down

I'm spending a little time in bed tonight catching up on my online life and setting up my new A5 Filofax. There has been a lot of goings on here in casa Kansas, but none of it should have stopped me from blogging or writing or enjoying life. But it did. I am that person that completely shuts down when all is not right and it is driving me crazy. When one aspect of my life is going wrong, I shut down in all things and can't quite manage to keep going, at least not effectively. I still move, but I move without purpose and without fulfillment. Everything slows to a crawl until that out-of-place puzzle piece catches back up and gets in line.

But now that my life is not completely my own, I really have to work on changing this. I had a great week of wedding re-cap and a giveaway all planned and a life hiccup with my husband brought that to a halt. It is almost impossible for me to be upset about something in my marriage and try to write about how happy the wedding was. It feels disingenuous. So, I shut it down and took a little time to reset and repair.

In that time, I set some boundaries and made some positives steps forward to help me keep things together and moving. I also did a lot of comfort eating so you will be hearing about me and my new Fitbit a lot! Also in that time, I got a promotion at work which prompted the purchase of the new Filofax. I quickly realized I wouldn't be able to track my group in my personal size. I will continue to use the personal size for all things personal and blogging and as a wallet.

So, look for some changes from me soon. I am hoping to revamp the blog a bit as it's been a little while since we've refreshed. And I promise the wedding re-cap and giveaway are fast approaching.

Finally Finishing - Thank You

Now that my temporary work assignment has finished and I'm back to working a normal 40 hour workweek, I'm picking up a few things that should have been done some time ago. Right now,  I'm working on my thank you cards from the wedding. Finally!

I also want to finish out my wedding talk by doing a blog recap of the festivities. I learned a lot of gathered a lot of ideas by following blogs and vlogs related to wedding stuff. I want to make sure I leave some info in that pool of knowledge.

So, I will be hosting what I am calling wedding week here on the blog. We will start on the dreaded tax day, April 15, and end with a very fabulous Giveaway.  Yes, I'm trying the giveaway thing again. I'm collaborating with one of my favorite small businesses to bring something really special to the table.  Stay tuned!

It Comes and Goes

Making the decision to go to Blissdom 2013 was an easy one although I was concerned with the cost of making such a last minute decision. Now, unfortunately, life has intervened and I have to cancel the trip just as quickly as I booked it.

Just a few months ago we were celebrating our wedding with our family and friends.  Now, we are planning for the death of our best man. It feels so disrespectful to say that, but the outlook is not positive.

Until the time comes, we will continue to remember him dancing.

Merry Christmas

…from my new family to yours.

After Glow??

Maybe, maybe not. But the wedding is behind us and I am recovering from the festivities. One month married and I am still surviving! Wedding recap and other marriage related stuff to come. I’m hoping to finish this out before the end of the year. It was such a great day and such a great party, but it is definitely time to move on from wedding planning and wedding talk in general.
Not to mention, I am ready to get back to my hobbies. I am living in a much colder climate now and I don’t have nearly enough knitted accessories.
Happy Holidays, my friends. May God bless your Christmas!

Another Wedding Hair Option

I’ve been continuing to comb the YouTube for wedding day hair options. Since my hair has gotten a little longer since I found the styles I mentioned here and here, I will be spending the month of October playing around in my hair more and more until I get things figured out.

But for now, I am still clipping and saving videos for future reference. Last week, Mahogany Knots posted a new style. After seeing it, I thought about it and thought about it. It really intrigued me, but in the back of my head I was thinking my hair is not nearly long enough. And then, wwestNDNbeautyy did it and I had to give it a try. Her hair is long too, but for some reason, having another person do it gave me a little more confidence in my ability to do it. Who knows? Maybe it’s just the power of YouTube.



This is my hair after setting it with the twists. I was still worried my hair wouldn’t be long enough but I pinned the twists to the side for the night and I was confident I could pin the hair up reasonably well. I moisturized and set my hair using ORS Olive Oil Smooth Pudding and used extra bobby pins to keep the sides smoothed in place while setting.



I was really happy with the definition in my hair after taking down the twists.



And the final result is absolutely beautiful. I think a few well placed flowers will really make this a stand-out contender for the wedding. What do you think. Any hairstyles or YouTubers catching your eye?

Sneak Peek

I’m putting together something special for my bridesmaids. I’m still trying to figure out what to do for the groomsmen. I am open to all suggestions.

Shades of Gray

Get your mind out of the gutter! This is not that kind of post.
One of the most fun things about planning a wedding, in my opinion is choosing the color palette. One color that has been front and center for me through most of the planning is gray.

I saw these tables at a bridal show that I attended. At the point, I had only decided to use a deep eggplant color, but then I saw it set against the grey table cloths and I was in love. At the same bridal show, I saw this dress in the fashion show and fell in love. The best thing about it, It has pockets. I love dresses with pockets. Since I insist on thinking of my wedding as a cocktail party, I was originally going to cut them short, but now that we are clearly having a fall wedding, we will keep them long, which will be absolutely lovely.

After seeing a coworkers toes painted gray and loving it, I started to think about the wedding and how grey nails would be perfect. I hit the local beauty supply (for China Glaze) and Whole Foods (for Mineral Fusion) and came home with several shades of gray to try out. The Platinum Silver is a definite no-no. You definitely cannot judge a color by how it looks in the bottle. Right now, the China Glaze Recycle is my favorite. The Elephant Walk shows a little blue and the the Mineral Fusion Slate shows purple sometimes. But, when I return to the shop for my next dress fitting, I will paint each color on a nail and see what they look like against my dress. The winning color will be included in gift set for my bridesmaids.

And of course, I can’t forget the gray sneakers that Famous Footwear gifted the attendees of Blissdom 2012. I am seriously contemplating buying a new pair of these (in the same gray and pink) and wearing them under my wedding dress. We’ll see how that goes.

What do you think? What colors are striking your fancy this year?

Pins and Needles

I had my first dress fitting today. Unfortunately, it was hard to enjoy it because I had a migraine but I made it through it. My seamstress, Mina, was very nice and understanding. Everything went more smoothly than I expected. Because my dresses are the perfect length and didn’t need any hemming, my alterations are very reasonable in cost.

I wasn’t very prepared for this appointment. I went in to the local David’s Bridal yesterday to inquire about alterations and they offered me an appointment for today. I wanted to share with you the few things I picked up to make an alteration appointment go smoothly.

1. Have your undergarments purchased and with you. Since I was expecting to have a couple of weeks before the first appointment, I had not yet ordered mine, but David’s will let you borrow units for the appointment. Now that I have a pickup date, I have a defined deadline for getting these on order.
2. Bring the jewelry and accessories you plan to wear that day. I have two custom sets made for me by Jill Zaleski. I was able to try them both on with my dresses to determine what to wear when and decide if any changes need to be made. This also goes for veils and shoes.
3. Style your hair as close as possible to what you will do on the wedding day. I will be doing a pin-up style for the wedding so when I go back for the second fitting, I will have an up-do.
4. Take someone with you. It helps to have an extra pair of hands to help dress you and to take pictures. And in my case, I was not feeling well and it would have helped so much to have someone to drive. Having my Mommie Dearest in tow would have been delightful. She hasn’t gotten to see me in my dress yet, outside of pictures and I don’t think I’ll be able to handle her tears on the wedding day.

No tips outside of what most wedding sites will tell you, but I have tired of the wedding sites and hope to provide a little info for those of you that feel the same way.

Variations and Possibilities

I’ve been doing a lot of card making this summer and teaching a friend in the process. One of the things that people new to certain crafts face is not having enough supplies. You see these pretty examples in magazines and on blogs of cards and scrapbook pages that people are making and you think you have to have all this stuff. It becomes daunting to some people and they step away, putting it off till later.

I wanted to show the different variations that can be introduced to a project using a limited amount of materials.



I pulled 6 stamps from my collection that I would use for all the cards. Even though a couple of these stamps were purchased as part of a set, you could easily buy 4-6 individual stamps and accomplish the same result. Each of these cards has a different feel but they all relay the same sentiment.

Even thoughI made a set of each kind for a different recipient, it is important to remember that you can mix and match till your heart is content.



This may be my favorite. It is handmade paper that I background stamp with stars/dots stamp with a bronze Thank You on top. I added coordinated strips of paper embellished with a brad. This is a simple one page card on the back of which the message would be written.



This is a folding card with a separate piece of white card stock embellished on top. The stars/dots are stamped on the white card stock. The Thank You and flower embellishment are stamped in silver on a piece of vellum. The vellum is adhered to the white card stock with two eyelets. I made these in a varieties of colors. The inside of the card was kept blank.



This is a fun little set that I put together using a variety of tags that I had pre-punched in my stash. I layered two tags on the card, each in a different position. The top tag is stamped with the Thank You and flower embellishment. The inside of these cards is stamped with the internal sentiment stamp. The back of the card is stamped with the doves.I thought about adding a ribbon tie or element to the tags but I was concerned about adding too much bulk in the mailing. These are gifts and I don’t want to unnecessarily increase shipping costs for the receiver.



This is the more simplistic of the bunch. I kept the color pallet on the bland side which I like. These are made with scraps in varying shades of beige/ivory. The background square is stamped in grey and the Thank You in black. The eyelets just add a little more interest to the overall look. I also varied the eyelets that I used between three different metallic finishes that are in my stash. The inside of the card is stamped with the internal sentiment stamp. The back of the card is stamped with the doves.

I hope this gives you a good idea of the variation possible with just a few stamps and embellishments. Don’t let the plethora of stamps and supplies in the craft store stop you from trying.

Have fun!

Wanda's Wedding

I didn’t get to take many pictures at my sister's wedding, but I wanted to share the few that I did get. I’m hoping my sister remembers to send me the wedding photo CD when she gets it so I can upload all the picture for our friends and family and you, of course. Enjoy.

Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Jones.

Choosing The Wedding Party-The Brides Perspective

My fiancé came into my life at a time when I was not ready. You can counter this and say that we are never really ready for the little surprises that life will bring our way, but I was really not ready. He and I often talk back on the first few weeks of our lives together. We laugh about it now, but he was angry with me then.

He came at me too fast and I had a wall around me that I was not ready to let anyone get beyond. I went out with him and then I avoided him. I lost my cell phone during a road trip and took that as an out because I didn’t have his number anywhere else other than that phone. But then I saw him and I was drawn to him. I had to beg the boy to give me his number again. He assumed I thought I was better than him and tossed his number aside as I had tossed him. He was hurt and he was angry. I was scared and I wasn’t ready to be in another relationship.

Even when I started to give in and decided to give us a chance, I waffled. We went on a few more dates and then we moved in together. I still waffled. He proposed. I still waffled after asking for time. A month later, I said yes and I still waffled. I went back and forth, back and forth trying to decide if I wanted to be in such a committed relationship and if I wanted to be married. I doubted. I doubted my ability to be a good wife. I doubted his ability to be a good husband. I doubted our ability to communicate with each other. I doubted everything.

Getting married is a beautiful and lovely thing, but I couldn’t dive into the wedding until I was sure the marriage was going to start on a healthy foundation. We started marriage counseling with our pastor and I started having serious conversations with friends that were married, friends that wanted to get married and a few people that I knew had gone through a divorce. I questioned everything and I listened and I still continue to do so.

When I finally broke free of enough doubt and was content and happy with becoming this man’s wife, I could finally start to think about the wedding that would start our married life. My wedding day is not a production or a party. It’s an induction. And in order to be properly inducted into this life, I needed people with me that knew what I was getting into. For that reason, I chose a Matron of Honor and Bridesmaids that were married. These are women that have marriages that I look to for inspiration and guidance. They have had successes. They have had failures. They have had issues that threatened to tear them apart, but they are still standing. They are happy and they have no regrets about walking down the aisle. Will they always feel that way? Who knows. But today, they are my support system and they are who I need.

None of them are family and none of them have known me longer than 12 years and I have no regrets about that. Everyone likes to fantasize that their wedding party will be made up of their sisters and childhood friends. Often that is the case. But if you really want to see this as the start of a marriage and not just a wedding, you have to ask if sisters and childhood friends are really what you need. In my case, it is not.

I get questioned about this choice a lot. So many want to know if my sisters are upset with me. My answer is always and will always be the same. I am doing what I need to do to give my marriage the best start it can have. There are no doubts about that.

Paper Crafting Summer

This summer has started off to be the one that will be all about the paper crafts. In particular, card making.



The best thing about unemployment has been having the time and luxury to get back to some of things I love best. My time off has lined up perfectly with a friends desire to start card making. My friend DF has decided that she wants to make custom cards to give as Christmas gifts this year and she is being proactive and starting now. I’ve spent several days with her (and the occasional guest) in getting started on her goal.

This also made me want to do a little card making of my own. Recently, I attended the wedding of a family friend and since I am on a tight budget, I made her a set of handmade thank you cards.



The base of the card is handmade paper that I have had in my stash for years not knowing exactly how to use. I stamped a silver background with a bronze thank you and accented with coordinating paper and brad. These are simple and elegant and a really nice option for sending a quick thank you. I had enough handmade paper to do a set of 20 cards. I bought coordinating sliver envelopes from the craft store. What bride won’t need extra thank you cards?



And with that in mind, I continued on and made a set of 25 cards for my sister who is getting married in June. These were made by layering a piece of vellum over white card stock using eyelets and adhering to a card stock card of varying colors. There are five of each color for a set of 25. I know she will need more as she is still far enough out not to have purchased her thank you cards yet, but I want to send them to her to make sure she likes them before I send more.

And I still have more paper crafts up my sleeve before I pack the card stock and stamps away.

The Wedding Hair Options

There aren’t too many things that really make me nervous about the upcoming wedding (outside of having too many people on the invite list) like my hair. I have been natural about a year and a half now but with every inch of growth there are old styles that no longer work for me and new styles that become possible. I don’t know what my hair will look like when the time comes so I am looking to my favorite YouTube naturals for inspiration.

Because my hair state and length is an unknown and the I don’t want to risk what that weather that day will do to me, I will be going for a really nice pin-up. Naptural85 has several really elegant up-dos that are appealing to me. I have tried her Casual & Classic Natural Hair Style, but I am looking to try her Simple and Charming Updo and the High Society Bun (both linked below).

The Simple and Charming Updo is winning out as my favorite but I really do love that High Society Bun. So, I will be trying variations of these styles over the next few months to figure out which will work best for me. And of course, I will be watching to see what else she comes up with during that time.

One thing I would need to do though is try out some curled styles to see what will work best for me. I have not tried any curl styles since I have been natural. I have some flexi-rods but I will need to pick up some curlformers. I’ve seen very mixed reviews on YouTube so I’ve been hesitant to try them. But now I have to.

When I first started looking around, this style from tishauntee was my favorite. MsVaughnTV who inspired this style has shorter hair and used braiding hair to finish out this style.

I still love this style but it doesn’t fit with how I want to wear my veil but I’m looking forward to trying it when my hair is longer. This is a perfect style for natural brides choosing not to wear a veil.

The Vendors-Jewelry

Even though I am determined to have a simple wedding, I do want there to be a little bit of drama here and there. I’m talking drama that makes you memorable for a good reason, not the reality show drama so many of us have become accustomed to. Jewelry and accessories are a good way to get that little bit of drama. A friend referred me to an amazing jewelry designer, Jill Zaleski. I met Jill yesterday and I was blown away by her and by seeing her pieces in person. I had been keeping an eye on her through Facebook since I heard about her. She recently posted pictures of her newest collection and I fell in love with several pieces. I was happy to walk away from her with this one to add to my own jewelry collection.



It’s a lariat style necklace and the details are simple but dramatic. She packaged the piece up while we were talking and her packaging matches her personality and style perfectly. I was happy to get home and unwrap this little gift to myself. I can not wait to see what she comes up with for the wedding. I’m sure she will provide pieces that become treasured for years to come.



I will definitely be treasuring this lariat. Isn’t it pretty.

Hair Of The Week

This week I am wearing my hair in a braid out. I wanted my hair out of my face so I just pinned it back. I love it. My mother said she doesn’t like it so much because it’s not shiny. I could only laugh at that. The braid-out is a style that I couldn’t really master until my hair was longer. This is mainly because of the straight ends that I sport in the front, but also because the shorter your hair, the more braids you have to have. The same goes for the twist-out, but the braid out is more of a pain. The braid-out gives me big and fluffy hair. I re-braid every night and get a more stretched look as the week goes on.

I originally set these with Elasta QP Olive Oil and Mango Butter Moisturizer which I absolutely love, but it has no hold and the recent rains would not let me go out with hair with minimum product. When I reset these braids at night, I have been using Organic Root Stimulator Lock & Twist Gel. This product is like a mix between a creme styler and a gel. My hair feels good. It feels soft, but it doesn’t give me a noticeable shine as my mother pointed out. But today was a fluffy day and not a sleek defined day so I’m okay with that. I think for me this will strictly be a winter time product. I doesn’t have enough hold to keep my summer time hair together. So my search for the perfect me-gel is still on.

Despite the lack of shine, I do love-love-love this picture and have swapped it onto the Save The Date notice.

What do you think?

Save The Date?

Because I’m procrastinating so much, I decided to take a stab at doing my own save-the-date postcards. It has been close to impossible for the boy and me to get a good photo together so I’m stuck with singles. What do you think?

The Ballroom, Of Course

I have been a little slow on wedding planning, but one of the things I did do early was book the location. We will be getting married in the Silver Ballroom at the Sheraton Read House in Chattanooga, TN. Since I attended my first wedding here, this location has held a special place with me.

The wedding ceremony and reception will take place in the ball room. There’s an area outside the ballroom for bar and mingling. The Gold room is also available to me. It’s such a pretty space. My goal is to have a beautiful but simple wedding. There is nothing better than having one location for everything with a price that can include location, food, cake, DJ and setup all in one. You don’t get any better than that! I still need to get rooms booked and rates set up for guests and a whole list of other things. But I’m not as far behind as I feared. That’s the lie I’m telling myself so I would appreciate it if you didn’t make me face reality.

Wedding Prep Has Started--The Dress!

This past weekend, I accomplished the next big item on the wedding 2012 list. I bought a wedding dress. After watching episodes of Say Yes To The Dress, there were a few things I was expecting.

1. Everything would be expensive.
2. Nothing would fit me. I am a plus size bride.
3. I would leave the shop deflated and with no dress.

I’m happy to say things did not turn out that way. My maid of honor and I decided to try David’s Bridal as the first stop. I was really, really surprised at the selection. Everything I wanted to try was in stock and in my size. Everything fit and all the dresses I tried on were flattering on my frame. If you’ve seen Say Yes To The Dress, you’ve seen the girls in there hurt when every dress they try on can’t zip up and they have those awful clips holding in fabric pieces to cover the gaping hole in the back. Considering how expensive those dresses are that they carry, you would think they would make sure to have one in every size so no bride feels like crap.

Don’t worry. This is not the dress I chose. You’ll have to wait to see that. it was a strong contender but in the end, there was too much tule for me.

Kudos to David’s Bridal for not only carrying flattering dresses for the plus size bride but also for having reasonable prices. In the end, I bought two dresses for less than I expected to pay for one.

Yes, I’m that girl that has two dresses!

I just looked at the Say Yes website and they have clips they labeled as Big Bliss. Watch these plus size brides and you’ll see what I’m talking about.