I am one of those people that likes to feel useful and likes to be productive. Even when I’m not moving, I like to be constantly thinking through my schedule, my meal plans, my leisure time, my crafts, my life and making plans. I don’t enjoy excessive down time and I don’t enjoy work that keeps me busy but un-engaged. I don’t like feeling useless.
And this is exactly how I feel when starting a new job. There is always that amount of time that needs to pass while everyone tries to figure out if you really know the things you claimed on your resume. And you always have those situations where you have to be re-trained before you are allowed to perform the tasks you’ve been doing the last 11 years. I know! Training is necessary and I respect its place. But I want to rush through it all and become an active, productive member of the team.
I’m ready to show what I know and to prove that I really am worth six figures. I don’t know why I always think someone is in the background comparing my hourly rate to my production but I always do. Anyway, there are definite benefits to going into a new place and hitting the ground running, but there is also value in just taking a step back and observing.
The last three jobs I’ve had were a bit of a whirlwind. I learned a lot very quickly and I traveled a little too much for my taste, working crazy hours when needed so I was always showing my value in the most tangible and visible ways possible. My productivity was high but that came at a cost--I burned out quickly and often. When I mastered something, I was ready to move to the next thing. The enjoyment I once found in working and learning was fading more quickly with each new task that landed before me.
But my life is changing and my priorities are changing. I want to slow things down. I want to focus the passion I still have in my work and foster it into something new and exciting. I simply just want to slow down and enjoy what God has blessed me with.
There are so many changes coming at me all at once--new job, new city, selling my first home, getting married! I don’t want to rush through any of them. They all are bringing a certain amount of stress into my life, but they are also bringing me these incredible experiences that are blowing my mind. I want to savor each and every moment of this journey and show some gratitude for it all.
I am not one for making new year’s resolutions, but I am compelled to stop mid-year and resolve to slow down and enjoy.