One of the new things going on with me has to do with my hair. I have decided to go natural. This means that I have decided not to chemically relax my hair anymore. For now I am still coloring it, but that may soon change as well. The chemicals have become very harsh to my skin which seems to be getting more sensitive as I age. That means my hair is not looking it’s best these days. Honestly, it was not looking good before I started transitioning and I am doing all I can to repair the damage while nurturing the new hair that is growing. I got a little bit cut off before Thanksgiving and this did not please the fiance at all. He loves long hair and has been trying to get me to grow it out. Deciding to go natural requires a reset on length so I am getting shorter until all the relaxer is cut out and then my natural hair can grow.
Well, he has been complaining about how short and dry my hair is and how much it sheds. He’s now gotten his mother into and I felt completely attacked this weekend as they both decided to give me an intervention on my hair. This is not a fun experience. I am incredibly hurt. Hair is personal and when your hair is not where you want it for whatever reason, you tend to feel a little vulnerable. Hair on the floor is a particular pet peeve for him and his mother so I was afraid to comb my hair at her house for fear that I would leave an errant hair behind.
He knows I’m hurt so today he attempted to tell me how nice I fixed my hair today. I made sure I pointed out to him that he didn’t like it last week when I fixed it the exact same way. Nothing changes in a week when it comes to someone’s attitude and I doubt my hurt will go away in this next week.
We’ll see. I’m happy to be seeing videos posted on YouTube from many, many black women who have taken the same steps towards hair and skin health. In the future I will share some videos and tips that I find.
More than anything, I think all of us should remember that there are times when Love can hurt just as much as Hate.
Happy Holidays everyone. I pray you all have strong support systems among your loved ones for whatever changes you decide to institute in life.