I am not a fan of secrets. I can never remember what I’m supposed to tell and what I’m not. This also make me incapable of telling lies (big ones at least). :)
But I seem to be surrounded right now by people that keep secrets. Sometimes it’s done for “protection”, sometimes to minimize business impacts and sometimes to just be deceitful. Whatever the reason, keeping a secret sends the same message, I DON’T TRUST YOU!
If you are in a relationship and you are holding secrets because you feel like you need to protect your significant other or you want to avoid drama you’ve experienced in the past, YOU DON’T TRUST YOUR PARTNER. You don’t trust them to communicate effectively and you don’t trust them to be understanding.
If you are a business keeping secrets and you are trying to protect your intellectual property or you are trying to minimize business impacts, YOU ARE SHOWING A LACK OF TRUST IN YOUR BUSINESS SETUP. Intellectual property is protected through good contracts and through choosing good business partners. And if you are operating in a place where there is no transparency, you may want to evaluate the goals and mission of your company.
It goes without saying that if you being purposefully deceitful, then you trust no one. More than that, I think a deceitful person can not trust themselves. You can not trust yourself to obtain what you want in life without truth.
I encourage us all to abandon the act of keeping secrets. It’s a much healthier way to live. But do what you think is best for you but please don’t tell me secrets you want me to keep because I WON’T. (Please note that privacy and secrecy are not the same--maybe I’ll go into that in another post).
If you are keeping a secret from me, I suggest you reevaluate our “ship” because you obviously don’t trust me.